Here's a sports fan's eye-view of the cantankerous labor negotiations between NFL owners and players:
On the way to the posh Four Seasons hotel in New York City to hammer out a deal, the players' Ferrari collides with the owners' limo. During an argument over who's at fault, a plate of Waterford China carrying Beluga caviar is shattered.
Mayhem ensues, and an arbitrator sends both sides to a neutral corner.
Perceptions being what they are, the sports public doesn't give a hoot about who's right, who's at fault, how much money players are making, or how much money team owners are losing.
Joe Pittsburgh is paid by the hour, lives paycheck to paycheck and has just enough money left over to buy a marked-down, size XXL authentic Troy Polamalu game jersey.
It's bad enough that grown men can become rich playing a kid's game and that in many NFL cities taxpayers foot the bill to finance the stadiums where the games are played.
But being forced to read and hear about billionaire owners squabbling with millionaire athletes over profit margins when the American economy is trying to stave off disaster is a slap in the face to sports fans everywhere.
The bottom line is no one wants to see a work stoppage in 2011. Owners and players would be foolish to kill their golden goose.
This is all about give and take. And it doesn't matter what side's giving and what side's taking.
Commissioner Roger Goodell, who represents the owners, wants the players to agree to a rookie wage scale. Union chief DeMaurice Smith, who represents the players, wants owners to give some of that concession money to veteran players.
Neither side is budging.
What's the problem? The NFL is experiencing unbridled prosperity.
The league is coming off a season in which Super Bowl XLIV between the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts was the most-watched program in the history of television with an average of 106.5 million viewers, taking over the spot held for 27 years by the final episode of M*A*S*H.
A commercial spoofing Doritos during Super Bowl XLIV was seen by an estimated 116.2 million viewers, making it the all-time most-viewed airing of a TV commercial.
Advertisers paid as much as $2.8 million for a 30-second commercial during the game.
Smith said the league would receive $5 billion from its television network deals even if no games are played in 2011. That would give owners less incentive to strike a deal.
Players, on the other hand, won't be paid if no games are played in 2011.
Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti said that some teams are bleeding money. But why ask players to make concessions now?
If owners want players to give back money, why are they paying them so much in the first place?
Why did Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder sign defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth to a $100 million contract with $41 million guaranteed last year?
Why did the Detroit Lions give No. 1 overall draft pick Matthew Stafford $41 million guaranteed? The Lions are owned by William Clay Ford Sr., whose family's other business, Ford Motor Company, is struggling to sell cars. Still, the Lions lavished money on an unproven rookie quarterback before he took his first NFL snap.
Why did Indianapolis owner Jim Irsay tell reporters during Super Bowl week that he wants to make quarterback Peyton Manning the highest-paid player in the league, including up to $50 million in bonus money?
If teams are hurting financially, how can Irsay reward Manning with a record-setting contract?
The owners set the pay scale. Now they're asking the players to save them from themselves.
And if the players don't go along with the program, they'll be cast as greedy money-grubbers who don't care about the fans who buy their jerseys and support their teams, even in a recession.
Given that the owners have a built-in $5 billion nest-egg in the event the league closes shop in 2011, the players figure to be the ones giving and the owners taking in order for labor peace to ensue.
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