By Sally Jenkins
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, March 5, 2011; 1:48 AM
I am The Owner and I am a powerful man, a man of vast resources, someone to be reckoned with. And not just a powerful man, but a handsome one, too. Do you know how much money I have? Enough to sit astride my city like a colossus. Understand this: The truth is what I say it is. Why? Because I'm rich.
Also, I am handsome. Don't you think so? Try telling me I'm not. I'll be contacting the league negotiators. I bet I can make you say so.
The wonderful part of being The Owner is that I own things. I own so many things that it's given me the impression I own, well, everything. The biggest thing I own, of course, is my NFL team, which I particularly enjoy because it gives me the sensation that I own people. At the moment the NFL Players Association is trying to tell me I don't really own all the little men down on the field, that I only rent them for a price. But they will soon discover that they are merely "fungible assets" and "labor costs."
As I like to say to Peyton Manning and Drew Brees when they question my vast sense of ownership, "Son, do you need help reading a revenue chart?"
As The Owner, I rely on the gargantuan stream of NFL revenue, $9 billion a year, to help me own all of my other things. I personally made an average of $33 million in 2009 according to Forbes, but that is not quite enough to comfortably pay for all that I own - the boats, and planes, and mansions in Palm Beach and Aspen, and my vineyard, and so I am asking for more.
I own a black limousine with tinted windows, so that I can see out but you can't see in. I like to leave it running, even in the midst of an oil crisis, so the climate inside is just right. I enjoy controlling the climate. Why? Because I can. It makes me feel as though I even own the weather. Do you know what the temperature is? It's what I say it is.
As The Owner, I am far and away the most important person in the league. Proof of that is the fact that I am a billionaire. Do you know how I made my billion dollars? By being The Owner! All I had to do was sit in my Owner's Box, and the value of my franchise quadrupled over 10 years. In 1997 the average NFL team was worth $205 million. By 2007 it increased to $898 million, and all I did was watch! Lucky me! Of course, the luckiest ones are The Owners by birthright. Nine of us inherited our teams, like duchy.
As The Owner, I feel entitled to make the most money of anybody, ever. I really don't understand why players get 60 percent of the league revenue - I mean, after we Owners take the first $1 billion off the top. When players make too much money, it makes me feel that I don't really own as much as I should. It threatens my sense that I am a powerful man, a man of vast resources, someone to be reckoned with. And not just a powerful man, but a handsome one, too.
Whenever I doubt that, I check the tail number on my Gulfstream, and remind myself that as The Owner, I am recession-proof. In the worst economy in history, not one NFL team lost money! That's because 18 of us raised ticket prices in 2010, and do you know what? People paid it! They paid for stale popcorn and flat beer, and even bought "personal seat licenses." Which should tell you who really owns the seats: I do! Munificently, I am willing, in exchange for a hefty fee, to grant the temporary right to sit in them.
As The Owner, I am so supremely powerful that I can reduce entire cities to beggardom.
Not even the president of the United States is as powerful as me, because I have the power to stop play. It's a heady sensation to know that I have the emotions of an entire country on a string, which I can jerk at a whim. In Washington, The Owner can even bring senators and chief executives to helpless tears. Like Gordon Gekko said, "You're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy are you?"
Occasionally, I get the feeling that being The Owner hasn't endeared me to my neighbors. Some people don't understand how billionaires could demand an additional $1 billion in concessions from players whose careers last an average of just three years, and suffer an assortment of degenerative joint and brain injuries. Hey, I have my own health risks: last night at dinner I got a shrimp tail stuck under my fingernail and stubbed my toe on a Krugerrand.
A judge has even accused me of "harming the interest of the players" by trying to hoard TV money. That forced me to soften my stance in the labor dispute in the last 24 hours.
It turns out that insisting on an extra billion dollars for no other reason than I want it isn't going to fly in the court of public opinion, or of law. It's time to negotiate.
So now I'm only demanding an extra $800 million.
Whenever I doubt myself, I turn to my ultimate source of inspiration, the source from which I learned everything I know: DC Comics.
I leaf through the pages studying my mentor, the man I model my behavior after: Lex Luthor, the multinational industrialist and super-genius who seeks world domination through a series of clever business machinations.
As Lex Luthor once said: "We all have our little faults. Mine's in California."
I am such a genius at being The Owner that I can make people believe I own things I never actually paid for: stadiums, for instance. Jerry Jones, The Owner of the Dallas Cowboys, got the city of Arlington, Tex., to give him $325 million to jump-start construction of a new palace, and on top of that he charged fans "personal seat licenses" of up to $50,000 apiece to help pay for it. Taxpayers and ticket-buyers picked up most of the $1.2 billion tab, but guess who The Owner of the stadium is? Jones! And as The Owner, he made $143 million in 2009!
That sort of thing is why NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has predicted that NFL revenue will grow from $9 billion to $27 billion by 2025.
You know what that means, don't you? I will own more than ever. Soon you will answer to me, all of you. Because I am The Owner, a man of vast resources and one to be reckoned with.
Also, handsome.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
NFL owners: 'Who needs $4 billion?' and other negotiating tales
By Tracee Hamilton
Washington Post
Moammar Gaddafi called; he wants to know how to score some of that Adonis DNA.
The second-most ridiculous statement I've read this week came from Greg Aiello, the NFL's senior vice president of public relations, in the wake of Judge David S. Doty's ruling that the NFL was not, after all, entitled to collect as much as $4 billion from its television partners during a potential lockout.
Aiello's job is to sound the NFL's trumpet, but get a load of this: "Today's ruling will have no effect on our efforts to negotiate a new, balanced labor agreement."
Both Sheen and Aiello's statements are similar in that they are, in fact, completely nuts. The difference: Sheen is seriously disturbed; the NFL is just messing with us.
If, say, two days ago you were owed $4 billion dollars and now you're not, you're either making Charlie Sheen money - or you're going to bounce a few checks down the road. There is no question the NFL is flush, but owners were counting on that TV money to get them through the lockout in the style to which they've become accustomed - and if any was left, maybe they would keep paying assistant coaches and beer vendors.
The decision by Doty, who has been the overlord of the NFL's collective bargaining agreement since 1993, overturned a February ruling by special master Stephen Burbank. Doty will hold a hearing to determine if damages are warranted; the NFL, not surprisingly, will appeal.
But neither of those things will happen before 11:59 p.m. Thursday, when the CBA is set to expire. The two sides will continue to meet with federal mediators - distracting them from the more pressing matter of Sheen vs. CBS et al. But at least CBS can still make money off "Two and a Half Men" reruns - 11.6 million of you should be ashamed of yourselves for making Monday night's the most watched show of the evening. I don't know about you, but I'm not sitting through the 2010 Redskins season for a second time.
So the Day after Doty, with the deadline approaching, are we any closer to a resolution? Not really, no. The loss of what amounted to a lockout slush fund will hurt the owners, but it's more of a "Bill Gates misplacing his wallet" pain than a crippling blow.
Sadly, this thing could drag on longer than Charlie Sheen's rants. It could be a long summer.
Washington Post
Wednesday, March 2, 2011; 9:14 PM
The most ridiculous statement I've read this week came from Charlie Sheen. (In fact, most of the ridiculous statements made in America so far this week have come from Charlie Sheen.)
Sheen's statement was this: "Yeah, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off, and your children will weep over your exploded body. Too much?"
The second-most ridiculous statement I've read this week came from Greg Aiello, the NFL's senior vice president of public relations, in the wake of Judge David S. Doty's ruling that the NFL was not, after all, entitled to collect as much as $4 billion from its television partners during a potential lockout.
Aiello's job is to sound the NFL's trumpet, but get a load of this: "Today's ruling will have no effect on our efforts to negotiate a new, balanced labor agreement."
Both Sheen and Aiello's statements are similar in that they are, in fact, completely nuts. The difference: Sheen is seriously disturbed; the NFL is just messing with us.
If, say, two days ago you were owed $4 billion dollars and now you're not, you're either making Charlie Sheen money - or you're going to bounce a few checks down the road. There is no question the NFL is flush, but owners were counting on that TV money to get them through the lockout in the style to which they've become accustomed - and if any was left, maybe they would keep paying assistant coaches and beer vendors.
The decision by Doty, who has been the overlord of the NFL's collective bargaining agreement since 1993, overturned a February ruling by special master Stephen Burbank. Doty will hold a hearing to determine if damages are warranted; the NFL, not surprisingly, will appeal.
But neither of those things will happen before 11:59 p.m. Thursday, when the CBA is set to expire. The two sides will continue to meet with federal mediators - distracting them from the more pressing matter of Sheen vs. CBS et al. But at least CBS can still make money off "Two and a Half Men" reruns - 11.6 million of you should be ashamed of yourselves for making Monday night's the most watched show of the evening. I don't know about you, but I'm not sitting through the 2010 Redskins season for a second time.
So the Day after Doty, with the deadline approaching, are we any closer to a resolution? Not really, no. The loss of what amounted to a lockout slush fund will hurt the owners, but it's more of a "Bill Gates misplacing his wallet" pain than a crippling blow.
Sadly, this thing could drag on longer than Charlie Sheen's rants. It could be a long summer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's not let the NFL spin machine talk down a great victory by De Smith and the NFLPA staff! This is what fighting for the rights of all players is all about. This is two huge victories for the legal team. The first was the American Needle case and now the TV Revenue case. Both have had major ramifications for the current CBA and have set the tone for the current bargaining sessions. Let's keep the pressure up, and the volume up, in support for the great job De Smith, Kevin Mawae, Cornelius Bennett and the NFLPA staff are doing fighting for all of us!
One Team
Nolan Harrison III
Sr. Director
NFLPA Former Players Services
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sen. Jay Rockefeller urges NFL should open their books the NFLPA
ESPN.com: NFL
WASHINGTON -- The chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee is urging NFL owners to open their financial books to the players' union, arguing that will help resolve a labor dispute.
"Reluctantly, I have come to the conclusion that the only way to sort out this stalemate is for the owners and the league to answer the biggest sticking point: money," Sen. Jay Rockefeller wrote in a Washington Post opinion column on Friday. "What I'd like to see from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the owners is a simple display of good faith: Show the union your books. Don't keep secrets. If there are financial pressures that keep you from agreeing to the revenue-sharing plan proposed by the players, let's see the proof."
Rockefeller, D-W.Va., suggested that a neutral third party review the financial data, remove anything sensitive and prepare an assessment of the league's finances.
The NFL declined to comment on Rockefeller's suggestion, citing a request by federal mediator George Cohen that the two sides not discuss negotiations while they're in mediation. Those negotiations are scheduled to resume next week.
The league has previously said that the union, which has made similar demands, already has access to all relevant financial information.
The biggest sticking point between the two sides is how to divide about $9 billion in annual revenues. The current collective bargaining agreement expires at 11:59 p.m. ET Thursday, and the union has said it expects a lockout to come as soon as the following day.
The NFL hasn't argued that it's losing money, only that it needs to keep a bigger share to finance costs such as stadium construction.
Rockefeller acknowledged that "some owners make significant investments while managing a professional sports team and I don't want to play down their long-term expenses and obligations. But the players deserve a good-faith effort to demonstrate that these expenses are real and not just an excuse."
He said that so far, he's kept a "hands-off" approach to the negotiations, aside from conversations on the status of the talks.
But he also said that Congress, "acting in the public interest, has to keep the NFL on track because of the great benefits given to the league by federal law and taxpayer funds and because of its impact on the nation's economy."
One key benefit that the NFL enjoys -- along with other professional sports -- is an antitrust exemption for broadcasting contracts. That exemption, which allows the NFL to sign TV contracts on behalf of all teams, helped to transform the league into the economic powerhouse it is today.
As to what the committee will do if the NFL doesn't provide the information, Rockefeller spokesman Vince Morris said that the senator is keeping all options open but is mainly focused on encouraging the two sides to sort this out themselves.
Gary Roberts, dean of Indiana University Law School in Indianapolis and an expert on sports, antitrust and labor law, said that whether an employer is required to open its books depends on what it argues during the collective bargaining process.
"If owners make representations that they're losing money or that they can't afford a certain term in the collective bargaining agreement, then they're obligated to prove their assertion," he said.
In my personal opinion Gary Roberts said it best, and of course I'm not being biased being because he is representing Indiana University, the owners are obligated to prove why the players need to take a $1 billion pay cut, to prove why hundreds of thousands of people will be put out of work when there is a lockout, to prove how record viewership and $9 billion in revenue is not a successful business model.
Nolan Harrison III
Senior Director
NFLPA
Former Players Services
WASHINGTON -- The chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee is urging NFL owners to open their financial books to the players' union, arguing that will help resolve a labor dispute.
"Reluctantly, I have come to the conclusion that the only way to sort out this stalemate is for the owners and the league to answer the biggest sticking point: money," Sen. Jay Rockefeller wrote in a Washington Post opinion column on Friday. "What I'd like to see from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the owners is a simple display of good faith: Show the union your books. Don't keep secrets. If there are financial pressures that keep you from agreeing to the revenue-sharing plan proposed by the players, let's see the proof."
Rockefeller, D-W.Va., suggested that a neutral third party review the financial data, remove anything sensitive and prepare an assessment of the league's finances.
The NFL declined to comment on Rockefeller's suggestion, citing a request by federal mediator George Cohen that the two sides not discuss negotiations while they're in mediation. Those negotiations are scheduled to resume next week.
The league has previously said that the union, which has made similar demands, already has access to all relevant financial information.
The biggest sticking point between the two sides is how to divide about $9 billion in annual revenues. The current collective bargaining agreement expires at 11:59 p.m. ET Thursday, and the union has said it expects a lockout to come as soon as the following day.
The NFL hasn't argued that it's losing money, only that it needs to keep a bigger share to finance costs such as stadium construction.
Rockefeller acknowledged that "some owners make significant investments while managing a professional sports team and I don't want to play down their long-term expenses and obligations. But the players deserve a good-faith effort to demonstrate that these expenses are real and not just an excuse."
He said that so far, he's kept a "hands-off" approach to the negotiations, aside from conversations on the status of the talks.
But he also said that Congress, "acting in the public interest, has to keep the NFL on track because of the great benefits given to the league by federal law and taxpayer funds and because of its impact on the nation's economy."
One key benefit that the NFL enjoys -- along with other professional sports -- is an antitrust exemption for broadcasting contracts. That exemption, which allows the NFL to sign TV contracts on behalf of all teams, helped to transform the league into the economic powerhouse it is today.
As to what the committee will do if the NFL doesn't provide the information, Rockefeller spokesman Vince Morris said that the senator is keeping all options open but is mainly focused on encouraging the two sides to sort this out themselves.
Gary Roberts, dean of Indiana University Law School in Indianapolis and an expert on sports, antitrust and labor law, said that whether an employer is required to open its books depends on what it argues during the collective bargaining process.
"If owners make representations that they're losing money or that they can't afford a certain term in the collective bargaining agreement, then they're obligated to prove their assertion," he said.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In my personal opinion Gary Roberts said it best, and of course I'm not being biased being because he is representing Indiana University, the owners are obligated to prove why the players need to take a $1 billion pay cut, to prove why hundreds of thousands of people will be put out of work when there is a lockout, to prove how record viewership and $9 billion in revenue is not a successful business model.
Nolan Harrison III
Senior Director
NFLPA
Former Players Services
Former Players Message March 4, 2011
March 4, 2011We have had 10 days of mediation, and the CBA expiration deadline has been extended twice; once for 24 hours, and again for seven days. Former Players Board of Directors Chairman Cornelius Bennett, and Board of Director Jim McFarland have been in every mediation session advocating for the Legacy Fund, increased benefits, and pensions for all former players. Never have we had such a strong voice for former player issues at the bargaining table. As you know, this is the result of a unanimous vote by the Current Players Board of Representatives at the meetings in March of last year. We are now seeing the results of that vote, and I could not be more proud. We are truly one voice, one locker room, and one team. As you might also know, we won the television revenue case. Judge Doty on Tuesday reversed the previous ruling so that the NFL, as of today, cannot use those funds until they have a hearing to decide whether it will go into escrow or another remedy. The most important part is that the $4 billion cannot be used against us in the current CBA negotiations.
We held three national conference calls with our former players on Wednesday and Thursday of this week to make sure that everyone was up to speed on the issues surrounding the current CBA negotiations. We had unprecedented participation, and I anticipate more conference calls to keep you all updated and informed as we move forward in this process. One of the main issues we discussed was continuing the veterans' five year medical care benefit ending August 31, 2011. We should advocate that Commissioner Goodell state, both publicly and in writing, that he will not end those benefits that those vested players have earned. I've spoken to the NFL Alumni Association, to their credit, say that they will publicly support our position. Additionally, keep those petitions coming in for the Legacy Fund.
As you know, right now, solidarity is the key. Anything you see and read out there that is divisive and not inclusive of all players serves only one purpose - to undermine our goals of increasing the quality of life for all players.
One Team,
Nolan Harrison III
Senior Director
NFLPA Former Player Services
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)